Stress

It is a common factor that everyone experiences stress in their lives. Not all stress is bad. Imagine that, huh? Stress is a feeling. It comes about when we react to specific occurrences. Stress is my body's way of dealing w/ difficult situations that arise in my sphere. My body gears up to deal w/ the obstacles & I need to be bold, daring & powerful to face them head on or I can tuck tail & run. Now, I may not like confrontation but I definitely know how to bring it. The bell goes off & I am in the mix in some capacity. I need to deal w/ it. Before I used to stuff my face in hopes of not dealing w/ the stresses in my life. I was hoping it would just "magically" disappear. I just wasn't able to deal w/ the stress in a healthy way. Everything was heightened but I was a slug on the ground binging. When it was still there blaring in my face, I just purged. I wanted to just expel the feelings. My reaction was to wish it away, shut my mouth & let it simmer. Well, it was simmering inside to the point it affected my health & well being.





When you boil water in a pot with the lid on it what do you think happens? The frickin' H2O spumes over, the top falls to the ground & everything erupts into a volcanic explosion. That was me. I just kept everything bottled in until I started seething then KA-BOOM! By that time my blood pressure was up & I had to remain clam. Ironic, isn't it. Geez. I shut the nozzle on the hose but the water was still flowing. I ate over it, purge over it & restricted my food. I was trapped in a vicious cycle that made me miserable, angry & resentful. My stress was all over the map. I just didn't know how to handle my stress. Now I am in recovery & my stress level is a lot more even keeled. I am not saying it vanished... that would be bullshit. I am just handling it in a healthier way. I can't believe this but my stress level has been lifted. I have come to grips w/ things the way they are. I have to just face my stressors head on. Deal w/ it in a way that allows me to be filled w/ dignity, act w/ grace, see w/clarity and to let it go! LET IT GO! I am able to seize the stresses tossed my way w/ focus. I love to breathe in & out. To release the toxins in my system. To know that my strength can handle it, my serenity can accept it & my stamina can endure it.



In recovery, my fight or flight response is handled in a healthy way as best as I am able to do it. Granted, there still may be times when I am going to be a whirlwind of emotions, a tornado of reactions & a hurricane of behaviors but that is OK! It really is because I am not perfect. I am going to fall back into those old behavior patterns because I am dealing w/ stress in recovery. Yep, recovery. I am not "cured" so I will not have it miraculously disappear.




The difference is how I deal w/ the stressors in my life. My coping mechanism make all the difference. It either brings me to my knees on the road to death or it strengthens me to be victorious! I have to adhere to a healthier way to address my stress -- not eat over it! Not purge over it & not restrict. Before OA, I coped w/ my stress by eating! I wasn't just shoveling food in, I was shoveling the dirt to put my coffin in.





OA has educated me on acting to life instead of my volatile reacting shenanigans. Implementing the principles & practices of the OA's 12 steps has gifted me w/ a serenity I embrace. Spiritually, intrinsically & organically I am able to handle my stress throught the grace of OA & not just "negotiate" deals as I detonate. I have come to not only read page 417 in the BB, memorize it but I've come to live it. When I have genuine acceptance my haughty attitude dissipates & I hold no expectations. Which for me is the true measure of how I maneuver my stress level in recovery.





I also immerse myself in my OA 12 & 12 & all stress melts away...