How many times in all of my food craziness did I believe that if I just removed myself from this friggin' town & all of its inhabitants, my life would be so much better. You know it would “perfect” – ha! I mean, all I had to do was just move to a different location & start anew.
Funny thing is, I'd still be there & that is where the problem starts – with me; although, I never saw it that way. I was too ensconced in the duplicitous clutches of my disease. I have to be honest, I was too consumed with stuffing my face, purging my food or restricting. I preferred the excess exercise than vomiting, I thought tossing my food was too disgusting & extremely unlady like. Afterall, it was those uneducated, unmotivated, unambitious townies NOT ME!
When we did move, things were still dreadful. Most of the residents were disagreeable. Thanks to the 12 Steps, I can honestly say, it wasn't the area or inhabitants (well not entirely), it was me & my abhorrent attitudes.
Sadly, I was spiritually sick w/ so much poison flowing through my veins, I wanted desperately to believe that moving to a new neighborhood instead of changing my conduct & perception was the answer. Ha! It doesn't matter where on this planet I move to – I am still going to be there & the problem resides w/i me!
No comments:
Post a Comment