Anger

Today's reading @ noon & 6:45 PM focused on the meditation reading & it had to do w/ anger. Hmmm... I am used to anger simmering but my disease & all the gunk beneath the surface is RAGE from the sexual abuse. The more my days knit into my 5 months the more I am feeling it is time to excavate all that hinders me from emerging into the radiant butterfly I am. What I've always been. I am a ROCKIN' Chica.

Anyway, let me tell on myself & say I am angry @ myself because I know better this time around. The gig is up. I can't "pretend" I don't know better. If I pick up, it is because I made the conscious decision to do so. If I purge -- it because I wanted to get back into the ring. If I start to restrict, it is all because I want to play games w/ my recovery & get back into the ring & be in my disease. Well... NO MORE! I know that is just NOT an option if I am living a life of blessings in recovery.

Awareness. Acceptance. Action.